hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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