Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
