no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
