i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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