Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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