Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
