no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
