But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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