thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
