so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
