i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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