I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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