let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
