Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
These tits shall not be calmed
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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