If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
