So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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