I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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