we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
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