what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
