fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
