Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
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