Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
