Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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