Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Randomize
