so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
