Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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