Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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