Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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