either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
