...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Randomize
