But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
