I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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