i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
