Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
