So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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