As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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