Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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