the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
