More tranny stories later!
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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