How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
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