If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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