i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
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