I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
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