you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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