Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
