eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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