my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
