Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
