worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
