there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
